Addiction, something that grips onto you really tight, and never wanting to let you go. ever. There are many kind of addiction, ranging from something really insignificant to something that can send a person's life into limbo. How can one escape from its ruthless grip? Even if a solution is available, can one be able to use it? Life is not fair, cliche but with every second of my life, i appreciate it more.
I finally encounter a case where addition really destroyed a once really beautiful family. 'He is definitely the best husband in the world, he comes back to eat and make sure he doesnt stay out late everyday, which husband makes such an effort?' she said. That smile, so warm, filled with so much love when she recollected the memories of their happy days, I couldnt help but smiled along too. All was good until alcohol addiction kicked in due to depression. Why? Of all people, why them? I suppose I will never have an answer to that question, ever.
I look forward to seeing uncle in the morning. My day would light up knowing that he has been well throughout the night and is getting healthier every day. I am the only doctor whom he says thank you and smile to, probably due to the fact that I would take every opportunity to say 'hi uncle, how are u doing?'. The sentences i say most to him would be, 'Uncle, still itchy a not?' and 'Uncle, I said you cannot scratch on the wound right, your skin wont heal la uncle, promise me ok?' The latter was said today and he replied ' Sorry sorry doctor, I promise you.'
Today I attempted to talk him out of drinking, putting my psychiatry teaching into some use. ' I tried before and I keep failing. You dont waste your time talking to me, i will just fail you, like how i failed other doctors.' he said. My heart sank, I didnt know how to reply. 'Uncle, it doesnt matter if you fail, the fact that you tried, I am really proud of you already.' I said. I triggered some emotion of his, he just said 'thank you so much doctor.' I meant every word i said.
My first conversation with aunty lasted for about an hour. It was suppose to last for only 10 minutes but I just set aside 1 hour of my time for her, because I think it is worth it. Aunty was telling me how much pain she went through, how terrible her life has become since the last 10 years. Despite all the trouble, she is always so positive and cheerful. I asked her if she has anyone to turn to or even talk to when she is upset, her reply was 'Yes i do, myself?' ands she ended with a smile. My heart sank. That was when I gave her an hour of my time just to let her rant. Amazingly, she will always end each complain with something really sweet. For example, uncle has deteriorating memory, he forgets when he had his meals. After she told me that, she said this 'But he never forget me la'. True love, I think i finally met true love. Stay strong aunty and do take care of your health.
Due to their financial constrains, i stayed back today and looked all over for programmes that aid in kicking away addictions, that doesnt require them to pay. Unfortunately, I failed. Social workers are my last hope. Will be speaking to them during lunch hours, lets hope all goes well. I wish i can do more, but for now, I shall just pray that things will go our way tomorrow.
This incident makes it more certain that I really wanna be a gp. My patients can come back to me any time without needing to be admitted to the hospital or pay costly hospital bills! I aim to reach out to more people, seeing them happy makes me happy too.
