2012 in a nutshell

Looking back in 2012, i realised that it has been a really challenging year for me. Year 4 is definitely one of the worse year of medical school but I am glad that I made it. All thanks to the encouragement of my close friends especially pugster, dhana and lp wai. without them, my life in dublin would have been so miserable. There would not be any form of motivation to move on and carry on with medical school. Hence guys, thank you all so so much for all you have done.

I guessed i have slowly matured in terms of relationship wise. I can so visualised yu and colin saying 'still not there dude.' Will slowly change and be a better man =) Joey and I realised that being in a relationship is quite a waste of time as once things starts to fail, we end up with nothing. sometimes, not even being able to be friends. Hence we often wonder if all the hard work is necessary. For now, no. Rather focus on my career and be one of the best doctors there is =) saving life and giving back to society is what i strive to achieve in the years to come.

2012 has been rather nasty to my bestie piggy. Definitely has not been a good year for her, lets hope that 2013 will be a better year for you yea yu? May u find loads of hot farmer's boyfriend and find the meaning of your life. I realised im hitting the same phase of life as you, and I hope that i will figure out the meaning of my life as soon as possible too. Fighting yea?

Lp wai, thanks for being so understanding and not giving up on me even though i drop loads of random nonsense at times. Glad that after all we have gone through, you did not judge or turn your back from me. I really do appreciate it and hope that we will be bestie for life if its possible =) thanks for loving me for who I am my precious, lolz.

Chin chin! haha, thanks for all the barbs items and the constant farming together thought you always say i 'smell your fart'. Those random card games event, studying at coffee bean,cooking sessions and makan session are fantastic! life back in sg would have been so much more boring should those event not happen! Thanks once again.

Alright, gonna head off for a hair cut le. 2012 has been amazing and I am really thankful to all of you guys! thanks ken, kc and wan xuan for making time for all the random last minute events that i hold. Those events are less meaningful without you guys.

Oh ya, made one special friend this time round, jia sheng. Thanks chin for introducing him, i foresee more outings as a group next time =) 

sweetest thing

I asked: ' what if one day we just lose contact suddenly?'

He went: ' hmmmm, then go find where each other are? Im the power searcher, like golem.'

All that crossed my mind was 'maybe its just not fated?' What was i thinking? Indeed he is definitely going to be 'my precious' too. LOL.

omg moment!

omg omg omg, my brother's girlfriend said 'YES' to his proposal. how happy =) hope they will always be happy and loving! =) indeed a day to remember

Stephen Hawkings documentary

The brain is the collection of particles that acts according to the law of physics. Our brain controls our behavior via electrical and chemical signals In fact; our body is like a vessel, to sustain the brain. Ever thought that our body could just be a projection of our brain, meaning it actually does not exist. Everything that is experienced is actually determined by the brain? This leads to an interesting theory, the simulation theory.

The simulation theory, also known as the simulated reality, is one in which our conscious minds may or may not be aware that they are living in a simulated world. This is a skeptical theory, which I find it really intriguing. It implies that the vegetable soup that I consumed 30 minutes ago may just be a sequence of code. It is the desire of my brain to consume food which manifested the vegetable soup and the feeling of fullness is not because of the food itself, but because the craving of the brain is being fulfilled. Doesn’t this correlate with the fact that once we do not answer a specific craving, other cravings come to haunt us?

In the programme, the butterfly effect was brought up. In a nutshell, it means that a small variable would actually lead to a large difference in the later stage. It got its name as it is derived from a theoretical example if a hurricane’s formation is contingent on whether or not a distant butterfly flapped its wings several weeks before.  In my opinion, this is a theory that we always encounter in our daily life. I am sure that there are moments where you go ‘ wa heng sia, heng I did  (something) so now I am able to handle this situation’ Something that was once viewed as insignificant actually helped us in achieving our goals in the end. Such beautiful theory has a darker side, which is, if we do not set things right from the start, we are most likely gonna fail at the end. Hence the saying, failing to plan = planning to fail. How true.

It was also postulated that the meaning of life is just a piece of model of reality that we each build in our mind. We believe in what we think as possible. An example from the programme: There is a table in the room and when we leave the room and close the door, the table is ‘gone’. What we believe is that the table is stationary and will still be there when we get back. But… is there a possibility that the table has flown off the window, rotated around the earth once and goes back to the original position at the moment we open the door of the room? ‘siao ah’ must be going through your mind. It went through mine too but when you think about it, anything could have happened at that period of time. We believe that the table is stationary because that theory fits perfectly with what we always accept as a reality. So is that a true reality or just a model of reality in our brains?

Physics is amazing. It is and will always be around us no matter how much one hates physics. This brought back the memory of me discussing the beauty of quantum physics with a friend of mine who did physics in TCD for 2 years before changing to medicine. Embrace physics, embrace life =)

Partial reflection

Many of us have progressed to the next stage of our lives, the working phase. Everyone is busy, they have their own commitments. I am really thankful to those who took time off specially for me. Thanks for making me feel love and appreciated. To those people, thank you once again, i really do appreciate it.

Thank you david for taking time off for me. It is really sweet of you to bring damion to my home when i was sick without even me asking. Damion is an important part of my life and I am glad you acknowledge it and always offer to let mion spend time with me. =) Finally, after a long while, we had our long awaited morning breakfast and it was fantastic. The ride home was really fast, probably cause time flies when we are having fun. I hope we will still be in contact and I wish you all the best my friend. Mion mion baby i love you! =)

Time flies, will be going back in about a week time. Trying to treasure my time here with all my close friends. Thanks chin, yu, ken, kacie, wanxuan and colin for making time for me =) Thanks chin for always pei-ing me mug in coffee bean, ai si ni le! =) Lets hope that all these gatherings will still continue even as we age! We are meeting tomorrow and I am so excited about it!

Spent a month with joey, wasn't an easy month for me but everything turned out well. Never did i know I would be experiencing joey withdrawal symptoms when he left. I guessed we spent too much time together and I felt rather 'alone' when he is gone. Hmmm, i wonder if he feels the same too? After our fun night out together, we realised the importance of one another in our lives. Though lao po may be a pain in the ass sometimes, he has his really sweet moments which constantly reminds me to not give up on him. 'Hon wei, please do not get disheartened by me' he said. 'Lp i won't' i replied. A promise was made, and I willing to stick to it. Bros forever lp!

Yvonne is one interesting character. Both chin and I named her wan xuan number 2. I am glad that she integrated well into my group of friends =) I seem to be able to talk to her about everything, well, not really EVERYTHING unlike my bestie piggy who knows so many of my dark secrets! =) Yloh has matured and I am certain that she is ready to date a guy soon. Lets see who that lucky guy will be =)

All in all, i really loved my 5 weeks back in SG. Many lessons were learnt and I have finally moved on in many aspects of my life. Lets all grow and mature together alright? Love you guys so so so much.

'I dont miss you, i miss who you used to be. And all of our memories'. People change, priority differs. I hope you guys wont change ><

你

而我已经分不清，你是友情，还是错过的爱情？ 


我很想知道，你是何时空降到第一名的？ 

Tired

It sucks so much when others have such high expectation from you and you know that it's impossible to meet those expectations. Confidence. Where are you? Are you still waiting outside my door? =(