If only... i can do more

Addiction, something that grips onto you really tight, and never wanting to let you go. ever. There are many kind of addiction, ranging from something really insignificant to something that can send a person's life into limbo. How can one escape from its ruthless grip? Even if a solution is available, can one be able to use it? Life is not fair, cliche but with every second of my life, i appreciate it more.

I finally encounter a case where addition really destroyed a once really beautiful family. 'He is definitely the best husband in the world, he comes back to eat and make sure he doesnt stay out late everyday, which husband makes such an effort?' she said. That smile, so warm, filled with so much love when she recollected the memories of their happy days, I couldnt help but smiled along too. All was good until alcohol addiction kicked in due to depression. Why? Of all people, why them? I suppose I will never have an answer to that question, ever.

I look forward to seeing uncle in the morning. My day would light up knowing that he has been well throughout the night and is getting healthier every day. I am the only doctor whom he says thank you and smile to, probably due to the fact that I would take every opportunity to say 'hi uncle, how are u doing?'. The sentences i say most to him would be, 'Uncle, still itchy a not?' and 'Uncle, I said you cannot scratch on the wound right, your skin wont heal la uncle, promise me ok?' The latter was said today and he replied ' Sorry sorry doctor, I promise you.'

Today I attempted to talk him out of drinking, putting my psychiatry teaching into some use. ' I tried before and I keep failing. You dont waste your time talking to me, i will just fail you, like how i failed other doctors.' he said. My heart sank, I didnt know how to reply. 'Uncle, it doesnt matter if you fail, the fact that you tried, I am really proud of you already.' I said. I triggered some emotion of his, he just said 'thank you so much doctor.' I meant every word i said.

My first conversation with aunty lasted for about an hour. It was suppose to last for only 10 minutes but I just set aside 1 hour of my time for her, because I think it is worth it. Aunty was telling me how much pain she went through, how terrible her life has become since the last 10 years. Despite all the trouble, she is always so positive and cheerful. I asked her if she has anyone to turn to or even talk to when she is upset, her reply was 'Yes i do, myself?' ands she ended with a smile. My heart sank. That was when I gave her an hour of my time just to let her rant. Amazingly, she will always end each complain with something really sweet. For example, uncle has deteriorating memory, he forgets when he had his meals. After she told me that, she said this 'But he never forget me la'. True love, I think i finally met true love. Stay strong aunty and do take care of your health.

Due to their financial constrains, i stayed back today and looked all over for programmes that aid in kicking away addictions, that doesnt require them to pay. Unfortunately, I failed. Social workers are my last hope. Will be speaking to them during lunch hours, lets hope all goes well. I wish i can do more, but for now, I shall just pray that things will go our way tomorrow.

This incident makes it more certain that I really wanna be a gp. My patients can come back to me any time without needing to be admitted to the hospital or pay costly hospital bills! I aim to reach out to more people, seeing them happy makes me happy too.

easily satisfied

2 simple sentences:

1) Yap, i agree

2) If can we Vc tmr =)

Just these 2 statement and I am on cloud nine. =) Thanks for making my day and making these 5 days of torture all worth it!

Clarity, by Zedd. Did not like the song initially but i started to fall for it. It has a really nice beat and it does get really addictive. I would highly recommend this song when you guys are doing your work out, it does boost your energy.

If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?

If our love is insanity, why are you my clarity?

If you like someone you think you have a chance with, don't let it get away. -truestory =)

Graduation

I realised that I did not blog anything regarding graduation. Hence i decided to dedicate this post to my dear family =) Loads of thanks to my mother and my sister who went through hell to ensure that I am able to complete my 5 years of medical degree, and finally being a doctor. I hope that I will do well and make them proud. Thanks mama and jie jie, love you guys loads. Many thanks to my always annoying brother who never fails to wish me good luck and constantly forcing me to get 1 hons, sorry I'm not good enough. Wasnt able to live up to your expectation but I will become a famous doctor, making you proud! Thanks xiu hui for attending my graduation ceremony, really appreciate it. Spent so much of your money traveling to europe, feels like you are already part of the family =)

Looking at the photos, i realised that mummy has indeed aged. Wrinkles have started appearing and she can no longer walk as much as she used to. Age is indeed catching up. 5 years have passed indeed. Hope that my mummy will lead a blissful and healthy life as she so deserves it. Couldnt ask for a better mother, she is indeed the best. =)

Really love this picture, graduation ball. All the girls look so pretty and the guys are all so handsome! =) Taking this opportunity to thank LP aka my chows for all theses years. All the ups and downs have definitely shaped us into what we are today. Thanks for not choosing to leave me when things turned so sour. Thanks for being the best travel buddy i can ask for. We are entering another phase of our lives, so much more uncertainty ahead of us. Lets hope that we will both do really well and that teo wai clinic will not only be a dream, but a reality. Road ahead will be tough and scary, i have no idea what to expect too, but we both know that the day to conform will come and it scares us. Lets home things will work out somehow and like you say, we should just treasure the moment and no regrets. Thanks for everything LP. Love you loads!

silly chows

This is definitely an event to remember. i requested a self picture from lp (he seldom takes self pic unless it is to cheer me up or he just wanna do something really random), he reluctantly took one and sent it to me. The picture was so funny that i literally LOL in coffee bean. After I told him what happened, he said 'I look ugly camphor, so i dont do it, lol, ewww'. Epic. I always thought he just doesnt like taking photos of himself but now i know the real reason why! Its alright, i will be your camwhore buddy ok? =) The mystery as to why he likes taking photos but not cam-whoring himself is finally  solved.

HAHAHA! I am still laughing when i am looking at this picture. Love you loads chows! haha.

Met weitin in the MRT today. Went to get sushi and sis sent her home today. HAHA, its amazing how fate brings 2 people together without even planning. The haze was so bad today and I have been complaining to her about it. See Weitin i wasnt over thinking, the PSI went up to 290 man! Im a walking PSI machine =) *smirk*

Thanks chin for studying with me today! hehe. more studying session to come?!?!?!  =) love u!

An event to remember

Had one of the more adventurous day with Pugster today. Our journey back from Penang on a bus was definitely one that is filled with 'excitement'.  Firstly, we got downgraded into the 27 seater bus instead of the luxurious 17 seater bus which we were being promised. To make it worse, the bus was infested with houseflies that were constantly giving us their tender kisses. I had lost count how many times they woke me up from my beauty sleep. In addition, the aircon was leaking on my side too and not forgetting the bus not being able to enter singapore because the road tax has expired. Gosh it was definitely one of the worse traveling experience ever.

Fortunately, the few days in penang made it all worth it. Times we spent together, getting to know each other better and see how others have progressed in their life. 5 years have passed, we all grew up and we changed. For the worse or better? to each his/her own i suppose.

Am gonna miss the nights i tell pugster 'eh pugster i cannot sleep la (even if it is 3 am)' or pushing her bed away from mine when she is being annoying. All these little memories will be deeply embedded into me, and lets hope that dementia or alzheimer does not steal them from me! =) Thanks pugster for pei-ing me to pg, i really had loads of fun, i hope u did too.

My little chow chow has been really busy recently but yet he never fails to take some time off to keep me entertained! =) thanks my chows and I cant wait to see you soon! Will be watching superman with my chows! wheeee, excited to the max. Thanks for everything and always believing in me chows! =)

Just finished watching ah boys to man 2 with chin chin! good movie, brought back lots of memories of our army days. Chin pointed out a few mistakes in the movie, indeed he is a pes b warrior! =) Proud of you! Thanks for coming over despite having such bad haze! =) appreciate it! =) see you tomorrow, must get you a really nice suit tomorrow!

every little things

So our time in dublin has come to an end. time flies, year 5 has ended and I am finally a doctor, or should i say a doctor in name. Thank you guys for all the support these 5 years, life would have been more miserable without you guys. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

The thing i would miss most about dublin would definitely be the time i spend with lp. Those times we spent munching on snacks, studying in the library, teasing each other, taking histories and much more will all just become a memory, hopefully it would not become a distant one. Without lp, my life in dublin would be miserable. He aided in shaping me into who I am today,  and making me believe that sometimes miracle happens. He sent me a picture of him outside the cinema and said  ' i went to the cinema jst cause of the unforgettable awesome memories'. my heart melted, thanks for appreciating everything we have, I know its really hard on you to say such stuff! appreciate it loads. Thanks for putting down your ego just for me, love you forever my little chow chow wanna be! =) will be seeing you soon!

'Tonight supper?' was the first thing he asked. Yap, we know who this brilliant fella is. For some reason , i told lp that i am sure chin would ask me out for supper on the day itself! and guess what? it really did happen! =) 'gay partner for life' he said. Congratulation chin for being as amazing as always. Hope you will do well and excel in the field, own those india and china people alright?

Piggy! cant wait for you to get back! thanks for always entertaining my full of drama life and always bringing a smile to my face when  I am down. really appreciate it loads. Lets hope that you can find the love of your life soon too yea? =) kiwi season is ending, or has it already ended? Yet something is still on going, getting stronger as time passes. Thanks for all your advices piggy, i love u loads too! =)

Ai ya, time to fly soon le! LOVE ALL OF YOU GUYS AND SEE U SOON!

Annoyingly sweet

'eh i go off to sleep first, heading off to rome, if got wifi i bully you.'  Glad you know that you are constantly bullying me! however, thanks for keeping all the promises that you made. =)